Other Things to Know I Learned from Kindergarten

Perhaps you’re familiar with the poem All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten. It’s a classic of American infantilism, that innocence, heart, and “values” are more important than thinking. I’m all for the sharing and wonder celebrated in the original, but it’s notable the teachers are conspicuously absent. They are an invisible benevolent force, a manifestation of good-natured fairness guiding the core values of the room — not inappropriate for poem written by a minister. When power and authority are invisible, it makes sense that it all seems normal and natural.

I found this not to be the case. Having just put my daughter through Kindergarten, her first engagements with teachers and classroom discipline were hardly invisible. In fact, navigating power and order was a hallmark of the year. As such, it was interesting to draw out other lessons from the experiences of these little people engaged with a bureaucracy for the very first time. So here are other things to know I learned from Kindergarten:

• You can only speak when called on. But no one really hears you unless you speak out of turn.
  
  
• The ones who get the most attention are those who demand it.
  
  
• The authorities like best when you stay within the lines. It’s more fun when you don’t.
  
  
• Authorities will ruthlessly deny, redirect, defend, and cover up their mistakes.
  
  
• Rules are other people telling you what to do. The rules are arbitrary and subject to change without notice.
  
  
• Some people are not nice to play with. But your best friend may be the person you just happen to be sitting next to. You just don’t know it yet.
  
  
• Everyone is an artist.